The Ailments of Etiquette In the Workplace! Here...There too!
On my way to the gym early one morning, there was nothing especially different from all the other drives on gym day. I took my usual route, gym bag in tow, tossed in the back seat of my car. Coffee tumbler in the drink holder, and my favorite radio station already set, playing the best tunes, filled my private “get away mobile.” Again, nothing so different from other mornings, even to the point where I did my regular, but random scan of various mystery drivers - positioned in their private get away vehicles. Meanwhile, my thoughts were assumingly that most of the drivers were on their way to work, or someplace considered important…at 7:30 am. Yes, it was normal to see drivers I perceived as in a huff, scurrying to get to that place. Wherever that place might be. Unfortunately, whether driving early morning to the gym, or late evening to the grocery store, I frequently witness mystery drivers’ coarseness, or outright discourtesy. On this early morning drivers were cutting folks off, tailgating, blowing their horn, and whipping past - huffy style. One driver even whipped pass me only to be stopped by a red light…with me! Inconspicuously, but politely I chuckled hard to myself at this ahh hah, and got-cha moment. (I thank you, not to judge me and/or take-away my self confirmed…being in the right). That’s when I briefly tried to rationalize why someone would be so discourtesy on the road. Maybe…the individual(s) looked forward to a little private escape time. To enjoy some solace in their get-away mobile. Instead for a split second, they drifted into a blink-out. Probably not realizing the error of their ways. Perhaps some rude driver(s) experience people not being nice to them…didn’t speak, and were reacting away from the situation. I tried in my mind to give fellow drivers benefit, instead of quick judgement. Invoking fair thought helped me to not actually justify their questionable behavior, but at least see it from a more understandable or softer side. I even asked myself - “Were they oblivious of the time? Did they not have their morning coffee? Late night tea? Maybe…no coffee the day before?” Okaaay…there’s no good excuse for plain rudeness!
As I approached the 4-way stop in route to the gym, I prepared myself for more lack of common courtesy at the silent communication meeting point. Non-verbal, but …yet somehow audible, understandable, and sometimes getting mix-messages - channeled through proverbial conversation bubbles. I often creatively envision such images. The message bubbles popped up…hoovered over each driver, including myself at our respective stop sign. The silent conversation generally started slow. First, at will we all assessed where we believed are identified line-up existed. Offering cues into what became a momentary non-verbal, social, but intended non-personal, and (faceless) coming together conversation platform. Ultimately, each individually staking claim…it’s my turn! So, after a hopeful recognition of …”Look, I’m HERE!”, and acknowledgement of line-up order, next, I charged my trusty feelers to sense any sign of mutual respect. Moreover, I knew that it was important to get confirmation that the other drivers agreed on each others time to move. It could become a negative jockeying for me first , when one driver was not cooperative and courtesy - void of etiquette. Who should make the first move? Which mystery driver really approached one micro-second before the others? Naturally, a driver responded by inching up unassumingly. ME! Well, my silent comrades at the 4-way stop did play nice! Thankful, not to have to engage myself in useless fuss, (no one to listen to me anyway), they all demonstrated road etiquette. Yippie! I openly in the privacy of my vehicle, congratulated them aloud on passing the etiquette test. Exhibiting a faint but recognized sign of empathy, respect, and knowledge of turn taking. A simple rule or practice taught as early as preschool.
Anyway, enough of my road travel truth. I really am setting the stage for another pertinent area where being nice struggles for voice and longevity. More than likely, my road travel truth is probably a retell story - experiences you’ve had dealing with frantic drivers. I said all this to reference a point which opens discussion about workplace etiquette. Is workplace etiquette in style? Have we lost touch of just being nice? In today’s fast pace, high tech world where we take to performing behind a screen and keyboard, it’s no surprise that it becomes easier to disregard the feelings of others, as well as showing empathy. However, don’t be misadvised or take for granted your easy stroke of the keys on a keyboard, is really as uncomplicated as seem. Key strokes formulate message communication that actually impact people on the receiving end.. It’s still important to get in tune with your company’s expectations on using proper etiquette, whether internal or external. Workplace etiquette in many work environments can be described as a culmination of questionable behaviors. Behavior that mimics a rather loose & careless presentations. Here is where I describe etiquette as having ailing symptoms - induced or yielding to society’s gray, underdefined, debatable values, rules & expectations. Etiquette can become misrepresented or misplaced, and not cared for at all. It is then when etiquette is most vulnerable to ailment. When etiquette’s strength wanes, it succumbs to the ills of thoughtlessness, selfishness, rudeness, judgement and mean spiritedness. However, minding your manners at work can pay off - face to face, through email, text correspondence & written memos. It is your choice to act respectfully and responsibly! Less thoughtful behavior and communication can be detrimental to you and put your job -career in jeopardy.
Many employers today see common courtesy , or good etiquette skills as valuable, ranking high on the list for employability. Poor communication and word choice(s) through employees’ interactions, is not only viewed as how well (or NOT) you understand rules, ethics, but again common courtesy! No longer is it considered norm to defer etiquette as soft, or to perceive that individuals using it, is less effective - perhaps not strong enough. To the contrary, human resources note that demonstrating etiquette in the workplace, and how one conducts themselves can impact their success. Furthermore, enhance what others perception of you is formulated. Here are eight (8) top tips to consider as practice when not allowing potential ailments of etiquette to spread in YOUR workplace setting:
RESPECT ALL CO-WORKERS
REGARD CO-WORKERS’ SPACE, TIME, PRIVACY & PERSONAL PROPERTY
MIND YOUR VOICE LEVEL
USE NON-JUDGEMENT LANGAGE
UNDERSTAND PROTCOL
ASK BEFORE YOU GRAB OR BORROW
CLEANINESS
COURTESY I.E. SAYING THANK YOU! SMILE! SAY EXCUSE ME! (These especially I find go a long way).
- Eartha L DeYampert, Senior Consultant
Your comments are always welcome !